I miss you
by husband-of-shizune
Summary: Shizune is beautiful, kind, and compassionate. She is also 30 years old and has never went on a date. Why? What past does she have that keeps her so distant?


**I'm trying a new writing style with this story. I wrote this at midnight, so be kind.**

**A plausible reason why Shizune remains single dispite her obvious beauty.**

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><p>The sun rose like a great beacon of joy over the great Ninja Village of Konoha. Indeed, the sun's great rays shined like gold, giving the people of the village, whether shinobi or not, a deep sense of peace, as though the light was made up of happiness. All the village was happy and at peace. Except for one.<p>

Shizune, the Hokage's loyal assistant and most trusted confidant, had already been up for an hour. She had awoken in her home, a small house made for a newlywed couple, a house she had had in her name for over a decade, but had only moved in two years ago.

She opened her eyes that morning and sat up in her queen-size bed to look at the morning darkened sky out her window. She got up as if a machine to go and prepare for another insignificant day. As she walked into her bathroom, she looked in the mirror at the woman before her. She saw a sad, broken woman, who's life was now empty. Her eyes were heavy and baggy, but not from fatigue, rather from tears constantly rolling down her face.

She put on her daily mask, not one of make up, for she did not wear it anymore, but an emotional veil, hiding her heart from those around her (a shinobi art that she had thoroughly mastered), and looked again in the mirror. As she looked at this new woman before her, she began to think,

_If he was here, he would say that I'm beautiful. I don't feel beautiful. Not anymore._

One tear escaped her eye before she managed to wipe it away. Looking at herself one last time, she left her home, locking up. She made her way to the Hokage's mansion, Tonton beside her, to get the village leader ready for the new day.

As always, she prepared breakfast and coffee for her lazy mentor, before trying to wake her. Her efforts were, as always, futile, as Lady Tsunade would just wave her off or even get angry. She knew that Tsunade would eventually get up, and that her anger was shallow and short lived, but it still surprised her that she had continued as an attendant for the Slug Princess, when many others would have quit ages ago.

Tsunade did eventually heed Shizune's words and came out to eat, not bothering to thank the young woman for her labors, but then again, she hadn't thanked her in a long time. Thinking back to the question she asked herself, she remembered the answer; the same reason why Tsunade took her as her apprentice.

_She's related to the one I loved._

As the day began, Tsunade took her seat behind her desk and Shizune stood not far off to the side holding her piglet. The day moved forward at a snail's pace as people came in to greet, to report, or in some cases retort to the Hokage.

Today was different that others because to that joy-filled air the sun gave the village. Everyone who entered the office had a big smile on their face and those who remained conscious upon leaving left just the same. While Shizune kept up her mask in the presence of others, when she was alone, her face would fall, hating the joyful people because she could not share in such feelings. There were no more happy, joy filled days for her, they had been taken from her.

The day went by with the usual amount of shouting, catching Lady Tsunade sleeping at her desk, and filling out paperwork for building repairs (consequences of Lady Tsunade's temper.) Eventually, Tsunade wanted to end her work day, so Shizune prepared dinner for her. As the Hokage ate, she washed the dishes used for cooking. When Lady Tsunade finished, Shizune washed the other dishes before leaving for the night as Tsunade began her evening ritual of sake drinking.

By the time Shizune had returned home, the sun had already fallen. Though the sun's happy rays did not fall on the village any longer, the people were still so joyful. As she made her way through the empty streets, Shizune cursed the people once again out of envy, imagining people talk and laugh, young couples on dates, families enjoying each other's company.

As she thought about families, she could no longer hold her expression. Tears escaped her big brown eyes as she nearly collapsed from the anxiety. Knowing that she couldn't be seen like this, she ran towards her home, stumbling each step, Tonton in tow.

Upon reaching her house, she ran inside quickly and shut the door. Safe from the world, she let out her emotions and collapsed on the floor.

She laid there for what seemed like hour, and perhaps it was. She just lay on the floor, staring into nothing. She thought back to her life with him, the life with happiness.

"_Hello students! Starting today, I'm going to be your new sensei."_

_A nine year old Shizune sat between two 12 year old boys; her teammates. Before them stood a ninja with short brown hair flowing to the right. A headband proudly shown on his forehead and a chuunin vest on his shoulders, covering his black attire beneath. He was the ideal jounin, accept for…_

"_You can't be our sensei, you aren't a day older than me!" said her teammate._

"_What does age have to do with anything? I merely started younger." Replied the Jounin._

"_How young?" asked the shy brunette._

"_Younger then even you, Shizune." He replied._

…_.._

"_Congratulations, Shizune, your finally a Chuunin." said the fifteen year old jounin._

"_Thank you Sensei, I couldn't have do it without you." Replied the twelve year old Shizune._

"_What are you going to do now?" He asked her._

"_I think I'll go into the medical core." She answered._

"_Really? That's a lot of hard work."_

"_I know, but I'm ready for it; it feels right."_

"_There is no doubt in my mind that you can succeed. You were my favorite student." Her former Sensei smiled, "Y'know, the woman who heads the core is my aunt. I could pull some strings and-"_

"_Oh, no, sensei, please I wouldn't ask you to go through so much trouble."_

"_Come now, Shizune, it's no trouble. And hey, stop calling me sensei, you're a ninja in your own right, now."_

"_Then what should I call you?"_

"_Call me by my name."_

…_..._

"_Shizune!" called out the brown-haired jounin._

"_Yes, Captain?" She replied. The two were running away, explosions behind him._

"_Is there anyone one else?"_

_Shizune shook he head_

"_Then we're all that's left." he stated._

"_Yes, sir." she confirmed._

_Another explosion, this one much closer, was seen._

"_Shizune, if we don't get out of this mess, there is something I want you to know."_

"_What's that, sir?"_

"_I love you."_

…_.._

"_You must be so proud of Minato." Shizune said, looking up at the Hokage tower. The two were watching the commencement from a near-by balcony._

"_Oh, yes, Shizune. I can think of no one better suited." replied her boyfriend._

"_Was he always so talented and powerful?" Shizune asked._

"_Minato? No. When we used to spare, I used to win. Then he started creating jutsu like the Rasengan and the Flying Thunder God Jutsu. Now no one stands a chance."_

"_So he was once a weakling? Hard to imagine." said Shizune looking up at the stars._

"_Well, everything changed when he met __her__."_

"_Kushina, you mean?" Shizune looked down at her boyfriend._

"_Yes."_

_Shizune looked back towards the tower as fireworks started appearing._

"_Y'know, Minato's about my age, and he's already been married for two years."_

_Shizune looked at him._

"_And I've been thinking a lot about you…about us."_

"_What are you getting at, sweetheart?" asked Shizune. She could guess, but she wanted to hear him say it. She turned to the fireworks and then back, to find him on one knee, box in hand._

"_Shizune, we've known each other for so long. We've helped each other through thick and thin and taught each other so much. We've been through so much together. I love you, Shizune, I always have and always will. Will you marry me?"_

_He looked up and saw Shizune tearing up. She looked down at the small dimond ring before her and back to the man holding it. At last, she spoke._

"_I have no doubt that you would make a wonderful husband. Do you have any doubt that I would say yes?"_

_He just stared at her._

"_Of course I will marry you! You are the happiness in my life! Without you, I am nothing!"_

…_..._

"_Shizune! Wake up!"_

"_What is it, honey?" Shizune sat up from their shared bad, naked under the sheets. Her husband was scrambling around the room looking for ninja tools._

"_We don't quite know, but it's big, red, and destructive. It'd heading towards the village."_

"_What about the Fourth Hokage?" Shizune jumped up and got dressed. "Where is he?"_

"_Don't know. Last I heard, Kushina went into childbirth, so it is possible he's getting them to a safe place."_

"_Where does that leave us?" Shizune asked grabbing her medical bag._

"_We have to hold off the beast until he arrives. But you, Shizune, you need to get to the hospital. Hundreds have been injured, with more to come."_

_"I understand." Shizune stood beside him at their front door. "Be careful."_

_"You too."_

But he wasn't careful enough.

Shizune broke out of her trance and realized she was still collapsed on the floor, crying her heart out, again. She slowly rose to her hands and knees and crawled, leaving a trail of tears behind, over to her bedroom, which they once shared. She disrobed and climbed up to the mattress and under the sheets, new tears moistening the blankets.

Looking over to the right, she saw her nightstand, on which stood a framed picture of her and her beloved on their wedding day. His face was young and lively, joy radiating from his eyes. Looking at herself, she saw a happy young woman who though she could rule the day with him there.

He had died a noble death, along with many others, who helped stop the Nine-Tailed Fox. She was proud to have been his wife but her love for him had killed her, her happiness and joy died with him. Her very existence meant nothing if he was not a part of it.

For the past fourteen years, it was the same emotional routine. Everyday, her grief would rule her life as she masked it in the morning, released it in the evening, and then cried herself to sleep. He would want her to move on, but she could not. He was all she ever wanted, all she truly loved.

She turned the other direction and faced away from his picture, only to be confronted by the empty half of the bed next to her. As tears continued to flow from her face, she moved her hand over the empty half of the bed as if he were laying in it right now.

"I wish you were here, Dario. I still love you."

And with that, she shut her eyes and let the tears flow freely until she fell asleep, where she dreamt of him, her beloved husband.

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><p><strong>This is not what I hope is her story. I hope her smiles and kindness are genuine, not just some mask. I wrote this because I felt a need to draw out emotions from readers. Just trying to expand my writing.<strong>


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